The Fear of Not Enough

And that’s when she put her book down. And looked at me. And said it: “Life isn’t fair, Bill. We tell our children that it is, but it’s a terrible thing to do. It’s not only a lie, it’s a cruel lie. Life is not fair, and it never has been, and it’s never going to be.” {William Goldman, The Princess Bride}

My mom tries really hard to be fair with my siblings and me. If she does something for one, she tries to do the same for all. It’s really nice for me, because I get unexpected gifts or assistance. But you wanna know a secret?

{stop reading Mom}

I don’t really need her to do it. 

It wouldn’t upset me if my mom bought my sister a new purse and didn’t get me one. If she paid for my brother and his wife to attend a marriage retreat, I wouldn’t bemoan the fact that I wasn’t getting the same amount of money to go on my own retreat.

The reason behind this is simple.

{you can start reading again, Mom}

My mom is generous, and I know she loves us all. Her kind actions towards my sibling do not take away from the things she can {and will} do for me. What kind of person would I be if I looked at a gift to my sister as taking away something from me? They have no connection.

Why then, if I can be this clear-sighted with my mom, do I worry that the blessings and successes of my Christian brothers and sisters take away from what God can do with me? God’s gift to someone else does not mean that He is depleted and has nothing left for me. It’s not like when Isaac blessed Jacob instead of Esau, and Esau ended up with a crappy second blessing.

We’re all His children.

We all have our own story. 

There’s plenty of blessing {and work} to go around.

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