Ok, so now we can agree that we all feel lonely at times, that Satan wants us to feel lonely and does so by creating relationship killers through our insecurities, and that God can change that.
Whew! We’ve covered a lot!
The last thing I wanted to talk about on this topic was cliques. The reason I have for this is that I don’t believe cliques ended with high school. They just have different names now.
No longer are we navigating the land of jocks, nerds, slackers, preps and goths. Now I find myself categorized by the decisions I’ve made in my life; the roles I assume:
Stay at Home Mom.
Those are just a few, but you get my point.
For some reason, we tend to assume that the people in the same category as us are the ones we should associate with. Those are the people we’ll have the most in common with and that’s our sphere. The problem with this is that I begin to judge people by their category, instead of as individuals.
I can dismiss relationships that God may be placing in my path because they don’t seem to fit the mold. Also, I become small and narrow-minded, because I only associate with people exactly like myself.
One of my best friends is single, with no children. She and I live in different states, and we don’t keep in touch that well (a problem I’ve already confessed to). However, when I get the opportunity to spend time with her, it’s like no time has passed. Our lives are completely different, but our affection for each other has remained the same.
I am covered in baby spit up, fishing cars out of my purse and making sure everyone is Purelled. She has a fabulous apartment overlooking the Puget Sound and she always looks so stylish and put together. Honestly, when I first became a mom I thought that our relationship wouldn’t last. I thought that she would look at my life and think it was boring. I didn’t think I had anything of value to offer her, because why would she want to come sit at my house and watch my child roll around on the floor when she could go out on a Saturday night?
I underestimated her. I thought we were only friends as long as our categories matched. I’m so glad I was wrong, because she is able to speak into my life in a way that someone who’s in the same situation as me cannot.
God knew I needed her in my life and wouldn’t allow me to push her away.
The challenge, then, is this:
Don’t dismiss people from your life just because you don’t think they will fit into your pretty little box of friends.
My children have an art supplies box.
Inside of it is a jumble of sidewalk chalk, markers, watercolor paints, crayons (some new, some wrapper-ripped) and colored pencils. When I first purchased these items I was so careful to make sure that all of the art supplies ended up back in the appropriate container. Everything had its place and it was neat and tidy. This type of organization does not last long with toddlers. Caps were misplaced, packaging was torn, and crayons were broken in half.
My Type A, organized-self felt frustrated by the mess, but then God showed me the beauty in it. No longer where they confined to one medium; pictures were drawn with chalk, pencil, marker and crayon. Art was still created.
Our lives begin as an empty canvas. We allow, or block, people from leaving their imprint. We can choose to only allow this medium or that to build on the picture of our lives. Or we can open it up, allow God to design, and see the splendor that appears.
Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Colossians 3:14
Thank you for joining me in this look at loneliness and relationships this week. I know that God has really spoken to me through it and through your comments. I also know from the comments that He’s spoken to you. I have read each one, and prayed over the things you’ve said, and I will continue to pray for you in these areas. Thank you for being willing to be open and honest with me.
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