I’m not complaining…I wasn’t sleeping much in the weeks leading up to his birth either. It’s infinitely better to be able to cuddle, kiss and hold the source of my insomnia.
Life seems like it’s on hold right now. My days consist of nursing, changing diapers, taking care of the other three kids, preparing meals, cleaning up after meals and trying to fit in sleep when I can.
To add to the craziness, my little brother is getting married soon. In a little less than 2 weeks Josh will be heading north on I-5 with Eli & Ezra while I take to the skies with Cora & Silas. We will then spend the next two weeks visiting with friends and family in the great NW and doing wedding-type stuff.
All of this is good. All of this is exciting. All of this is distracting.
Nothin' says 30 like Cajun food!
I haven’t had the brain-cells to write, even though so much has occurred I want to share. Josh turned 30 last Friday and we had a big ol’ Cajun seafood boil to celebrate.
Eli turns 6 this Friday and it’s 4th of July weekend – always an eventful time.
But I just can’t do it.
So, I just wanted to send out a message that I’m still alive. I’m doing well. We’re adjusting to life as a family of 6. And I miss my blog.
I miss interacting with everyone. I miss mulling over what God’s showing me through my day-to-day experiences as a SAHM. I miss the creativity.
He’s an ironworker, classic rock lover, Harley-riding, all out man of God. Over the years he’s taught me a lot (when I’ve let him) and has definitely shaped who I am today.
A few years ago he had a milestone birthday and I was having difficulty deciding what an appropriate gift for the occasion would be. Rather than sending some expensive gift I chose to write him a letter, sharing with him the memories I have of him that are most cherished to me. I wanted to share them here today for Father’s Day because it’s important to remember just how much of an impact dads have on their little girls…
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Every morning growing up, I’d go into the kitchen to eat breakfast and smell coffee and see your Bible sitting on the table. I didn’t think much of it then because it was so normal, but now I realize what a wonderful example of a consistent walk with God you were portraying for us. Now that I’m a parent and have so much to do in my days I understand better how much discipline it takes to take that time each day to spend with God. Thank you for that example and I hope you know that I think of it often and try to remember to be as consistent as you.
One summer when I was 13, I think, we went to Eastern Washington and stayed at a little resort place on a river. I don’t remember exactly where we went or what it was called but there is one thing that has stuck with me. I remember that you came and asked me if I wanted to go get ice cream with you. It was just you and me; we didn’t get Janelle, Darren or Mom. I remember we went and got our ice cream and sat down on a bench to eat it and just hung out talking. I also remember I got rocky road ice cream. I don’t know if you remember that time or not, but it meant a lot to me that you wanted to spend time with me by myself. Now when I eat rocky road ice cream I always think of you and that time we sat on the bench together.
I remember sitting in the living room and you reading to us from Mark Twain’s collection of short stories. It was rare that we all were together and not watching TV, playing video games or on the computer. That time listening to you read out loud was nice because we were all involved in something together and those stories are something I can talk about with Janelle and Darren; most people my age have never heard of them. You demonstrated to me the importance of reading and enjoying classic literature. To this day classic literature is my favorite and I know that it’s thanks in part to you.
Last, thanks to you I’m the driver I am today, some people would say that’s a good thing; some would say it’s a bad thing. Regardless, I’m glad that I had a dad who took the time to teach me to drive, and most importantly to drive a stick. I am always reluctant to start things that I’m not perfectly confident I’ll master on the first try…another thing I got from you? This happened not only with driving but also with riding my bike. Both times you knew that I had the ability to do it and pushed me to start, despite my protests. The first time I ever got behind the wheel of a car was in the VW Baja and I thought we were going to drive around the parking lot of the church. We did that for about 5 minutes and then you told me to drive out onto the main street. I was terrified, but you told me I could, so I did it. I was so scared every time a car passed me that I was going to randomly smash into them. When I had to start from a four-way stop and I killed it I was so embarrassed. But, I made it home in one piece and was really glad you pushed me past my comfort zone.
I know none of these seem like big important memories, but I’ve come to realize that it’s the small things you do that you never think about that make the most impact on people’s lives.
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And now, because this is another thing my dad and I enjoy together, I leave you with a clip from Top Gear…
My baby girl. My Princess Pootie Pants. I look at her and see her already as a teenager.
Soon (the waiting is killing me) her third brother will be arriving. Out of four she will be one. She is singular.
In so many ways I’m discovering how different we are. I don’t always understand her and that terrifies me. I want to embrace the things that make us different and not work to change her. She’s constantly baffling me. Today, I’m grateful for my daughter. I’m grateful for…
* one hundred ninety-ninety – the number she made up, the one that is bigger than any other number, the one that describes her love for us.
* “the best dinner ever” – her joyful comment over every meal I make for her…regardless of it being one I’ve slaved over for the entire day or frozen chicken nuggets & mac n’cheese (her favorite dinner that we will have tonight).
* imagination that inspires “Taylor’s texting me” and “My baby’s sleeping so you need to be quiet Mommy.”
* “I wanna hold you” – because nothing’s sweeter than those little arms wrapped around your neck.
Today I’m grateful that in a pack of boys and men, my daughter and I stand together – “Because we’re girlses.”
As I’ve sensed its approach, I looked forward to turning 30 as a transition into adulthood. My 20s were a time of new beginnings: college, marriage, parenthood, ministry. I felt that my 30s would be a time of improvement and refining.
I had no idea what I would be dealing with on this day.
My friends and family joke about my “birthday season.” Every year when the 1st of April rolls around I start anticipating my birthday. I fully take advantage of every restaurant that wants to give me a free dessert and I love to plan a party to celebrate with my loved ones. I delight in the idea that on that one day of the year so many people are thinking about me, if only for a second.
This year it all feels different. All I want to do for my birthday is have a night out with Josh. Presents, celebration, my usual “season” all seem unimportant this time.
Don’t get me wrong, next year I’ll probably be back to my normal obnoxious, birthday-loving self. But this year just seems like a reflective year.
