Thoughts from the Pot: Birthdays are Gross

Today is my husband’s birthday! Which, if nothing else, necessitates a “Thought from the Pot.”

“Thoughts from the Pot” are the random musings of a husband. The thoughts and opinions presented below are not necessarily those of the host of this blog. Thank you for your understanding.

There is a certain sensation in the air on a special day such as today. A sense of history and wonder, like lightning bugs on a summer evening. You know the gossamer touch of the breeze is a reminder of something that you may have forgotten, but that doesn’t matter now.

:: and know for something completely different ::

In my extensive research — which consisted of looking up “this day in history” on Google — I found that the brilliantly mustachioed General Custer listened to some foolish un-mustachioed people. He paid for that mistake with the top of his head.

“Cut your hair! That’s gross!”

Also the Korean War started today. Take that communism!

All kidding aside, that was a bad day for everybody and the veterans of Korea never seem to get any press, besides M*A*S*H.

“Klinger = Gross! Always wore the wrong color for his skin type.”

Thanks for everything, Veterans.

And then… there was the day… the music died. Which wasn’t on June 25th, it was February 3rd.  On this day, Michael Jackson died though; that was weird. I don’t even know how to proceed, he was just too weird. Like seriously a weird, weird guy.

This is a day to remember.

No. “A Day to Remember” is a band.

I mean that you should remember this day. This is an important day. This is the day of my birth. In some cultures they call it a “birthday,” but I find that too pedestrian and pedestrians are gross.

“Buy a car!”

So wish me a Happy Birthday and buy me something nice. I believe that it is the responsibility of friends and relations to redeem the weirdness that is June 25th The best way to do that… buy me things. It makes me happy.

Hospitals, Birthdays and M&Ms

Last week did not turn out at all as I had planned.

Thursday morning I ended up in the ER with Silas because he was having difficulty breathing. For five hours I listened to the emergencies of people around me:

a 90-year-old man with a fall from an injury, who hated doctors and hospitals because they keep you alive and he was ready to die

an older Mexican gentleman and his son, the man thought he was having a heart attack, but it turns out he was just constipated from his diet of mostly plantains (and bananas)

a young girl who got a concussion after falling on her head during a cheerleading routine

After ruling out pneumonia and RSV, the doctor’s decided that Silas was just reacting to a virus. When numerous breathing treatments failed to help, they admitted him Thursday night.

Over the next two days Silas was hooked up to an oxygen tube and a sensor that monitored his pulse and oxygen levels. The hospital opened an entire floor for us, we had two nurses all our own and a personal security guard sitting outside our door.

I learned a lot over those two days:

  • I could watch USA Network all day. I did watch USA Network all day.
  • Lunch and dinner in the hospital are always accompanied by dessert. Stop telling me dessert is not part of a balanced diet.
  • Being woken up ten minutes after I finally get Silas asleep and fall asleep myself makes me a Very Grumpy Person.
  • Physical, emotional and mental stress makes me crave peanut M&Ms (thank you Joshie for helping me out with that).
  • Not all of my family checks Facebook regularly — you need to call them, and not just update your status (sorry Dad — I’ll call next time).
  • If you tell your doctor to put in orders that your sleeping baby should not be woken up, you get much better sleep.
  • You may think you’re being nice in having a conversation with your personal security guard, instead you end up creeped out by their admiration for the Saw killer and anecdotes on how their wife tried to run them over with their car.
  • Two days away from home, with meals in bed, is not always as relaxing as it sounds.

Silas was discharged Saturday night, and we’re so happy to be back home. He’s still receiving breathing treatments, steroids and antibiotics at home, but he’s much better.

Yesterday was my 31st birthday. I spent the entire day sleeping, fighting off a cold of my own. Thank goodness I already have a birthday season in place, right? We’ll be partyin’ partyin’ partyin’ YEAH! for the next week.

How was your weekend?

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