Recently I heard the advice:
If you see crazy coming, cross the street and get out of its way.
Sound advice right?
If your goal is self-preservation.
People with issues, drama, attitude problems, addictions, sin are detrimental to our health. They come into our lives, mess everything up, and leave destruction in their wake.
It makes sense to hide, ignore and avoid. I do it.
Then God asked me a question,
“What if you’re the crazy someone is avoiding?”
How would I feel if people looked at me and said, “Hands off that one. She’s never going to change. She’s helpless. She’s trouble.“
At some point don’t we all need someone to reach out to us and say, “I accept you as you are. I will love you.“
I’m reading a book by Jerry Cook right now. He says:
Love is not license, acceptance is not agreement and forgiveness is not compromise.
We can love people and accept them without condoning the life they’re living. Jesus calls us to do this very thing.
So, if you see crazy coming, believe that God put them in your path for a reason and invite them home for dinner. The only guarantee that they will never change is if everyone avoids and rejects them.
And reinforces their crazy.
What advice have you received over the years that sounds good, but in reality is opposite to the heart of God?
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Great post, Melissa. Isn’t it scary how often things can sound totally reasonable until you look at them through God’s eyes? Jesus said ‘Hello, Crazy” far more than he said “Hi, Safe”.
Really thought-provoking post, thanks!
I’m such a logical person, and when I hear advice that makes sense to me I go along with it. It really made me realize how much I need to evaluate what I’m nodding my head to in view of scripture.
On a completely unrelated note…how close are you to London? Are things getting “crazy” there? Haha!
My life is crazy right now Melissa. Can i go to the other side of the street and avoid it? I really like the quote. Are you reading Love, Acceptance and Forgiveness? If so, that book has been monumental in my ministry development. Sure fits in with the No Perfect People Allowed idea. Well…life calls. Gotta go.
Side: I tried to post on one of your own person posts last week sometime and it kept coming up blank. Even when I typed in your address. Was it me or some glitch others had trouble with? how are the preps coming for the move?
You have some serious transition coming up! I bet you’re feeling a tad crazy, Bill. 🙂 I did read Love, Acceptance and Forgiveness…we had Jerry Cook come and speak at our church, and I wanted to read his book before he came. I really appreciated his insights regarding ministry and how the church should look.
Regarding a problem with my site…I hadn’t heard anything about that. I did have lower views last week though, so maybe that had something to do with it? Hmm…
Things with the move are…holding? We’re still moving, but God has not shown us yet what we will be doing up there. I need to write it out, because it’s been on my mind a lot lately. 🙂 Thanks for asking, Bill.
“Love is not license, acceptance is not agreement and forgiveness is not compromise.” what a powerful statement. loved the post.
Jerry Cook has some fantastic insights into what love, acceptance and forgiveness should look like. I came away with a lot. I highly recommend that book, if you haven’t read it. 🙂
You know, this goes along with the concept that people think they have to clean up before they come to Christ. I think that’s because of how we treat them a lot of the times. Yes, it is in our nature to want to be clean before coming to Christ, but Christians also treat non-Christians as if we don’t even want to be around them or friends with them because they are sinners, when really we need to love them, befriend them, show them Jesus so that they will come to Him just as they are. Then God can clean them up.
So true, April! Of course, the flip side of that coin is that those of us who are Christians feel this pressure to appear perfect at all times. If we could all just admit that we’re continuously mucking things up and bumbling our way along, I think life would be so much better. I don’t have all the answers, I don’t do everything right, but I know Someone who accepts me and wants to help me improve. 🙂
AMEN!
““Hands off that one. She’s never going to change. She’s helpless. She’s trouble.“”
Change the she to he and that’s something I’ve been having to live with almost every day here in Nashville. People write each other off so easily. It makes my heart sad.
It is sad, Jason.
fantastic. that sort of avoidance advice is also what keeps us seeing people as Other when we have so much more common ground that we may realize!
When we dehumanize people, whether due to their “issues” or they’re treatment of us, we cannot love them. It goes along with that verse about our struggle not being with flesh and blood. Remembering that the people who hurt us may be hurting in their own ways has to make it easier for us to move closer to reconciliation and restoration.
love that quote!
I want to hang it up in my house! I really could use it as a daily reminder. 🙂
He will never give you something you can’t bear. #lies.
He will, and when He does, He will come in and his power will be made perfect in our weakness.
Such a lie! That’s what makes Christians think that they will never have to face trials or disappointments. I wish it weren’t so, but the real truth there is as you said, “He will come” Thanks, Moe!
Amen! I get on this soapbox too, Moe!
I know this isn’t where your post ended up heading, but I immediately thought of that scene in To Kill a Mockingbird where everyone else ran and hid from the rabid dog, but Atticus stood facing it. Of course, in this case, he was eliminating crazy, which, as I said, is not at all the point you’re making. But still, that image of Atticus standing and facing what no one else had the guts to face…that kind of boldness, courage and strength will be required to reach out to the crazy, rabid dogs that are heading toward us in the road.
Perfect! I feel like that scene perfectly illustrates what I was thinking. Atticus faced the crazy and got rid of it…that doesn’t mean we should kill people (haha), but it does mean that we can sometimes be the catalyst for removing the crazy from the person. Our willingness to stand in their way, and show them Jesus, can be the event that changes their life! I’m so glad you shared that!
By the way, we seriously considered naming Silas (our youngest) Atticus. The only reason we didn’t was that I didn’t want him to be called Atti, sounds too much like Addie. I love that book!
Well, now I’m just feeling paranoid …
Lol.
Haha! Why?! Are you crazy? Wanna come over for dinner? 🙂
LOL! You totally crack me up! I will attest to the fact that no one, especially me, is crossing the street and saying “here comes crazy” when they see you coming.
What this post means for me is that Jesus calls us to love the unlovable, that includes the crazy people, the annoying people, the people who just don’t get that you don’t want to be your best friend, and especially the people who are socially awkward. And, if someone like this keeps showing up in my life, it is definitely a sign that God wants me to love on them. If it wasn’t for amazing people in my life to gently reproach me and show me the most excellent way, I’d be one of the crazies too (and probably am most of the time).
So the advice/mantra I’ve heard over the years that’s wrong? What about “He will give you the desires of your heart”? People love to quote this verse, while dismissing the surrounding verses that say to trust in Him, do good, commit your way to Him, wait on Him, rest in Him, and do not fret. You can’t pluck out “He will give you the desires of your heart” to mean that He gives you anything your heart desires. It actually means if your purposes, will, heart are in line with the Father’s heart, He will fulfill them. That’s what it really means! It doesn’t mean that if I long for a BMW, He will give it to me. Noooo!
Oooh! That’s a great one, Keri! I hear that so often. I wish it meant that He was going to give me a BMW…but I think you’ve got it more right. Haha!
I’ve been given that advice, Keri, many a time over the years! It makes me crazy…but hopefully not in a “people are crossing the street to avoid me” kind of way. Whether it’s been over a job or waiting for Mr. Right, that’s what their words boil down to. I want to tell them if it were true, I would have been married a decade ago. And just because it hasn’t happened, doesn’t mean that my heart and will aren’t aligned with God’s. It’s because I strive to be on the same page that I can remain content given my circumstances.
That sentiment can be hurtful for people who are waiting on God. Because then they think God is angry with them, or doesn’t love them, because He hasn’t given them what they want yet. Very hurtful. I like what you added about contentment, Leigh!
Not really advice, but one thing that I have heard again and again is “God only helps those who help themselves.” The truth is that God helps us because we can’t help ourselves.
I’ve heard that one a lot too! It feeds my independent spirit, and boggles me all up on what is my responsibility and what I should leave in God’s hands. Of course, I need to leave it all in God’s hands. Haha!
“Life’s not fair”
It’s inaccurate when we say it out of self-pity. Life ISN’T fair, because we shouldn’t be SO BLESSED. We should be damned to hell. Puts things in perspective when you think about it that way instead…
Interesting one, Laura. I never would have thought of it that way, but you’re so right. Thanks for chiming in. 🙂
Such a good point…it all goes back to loving others as we want to be loved!
Exactly! 🙂