I’ve always had a hard time with women. Vulnerability translated to weakness, and I come from strong women. Women that have a ribbon of steel wrapped around their spine. Steel that grew there from discovering the pain that comes with vulnerability.
So I became one of those girls who was friends with the guys.
“I just fit better here.”
A lie told to cover up my insecurities, my fear of failure at all things girly. My body was wrong, my clothes were wrong, I was wrong. And yet I’d watch. My desire to be part of a group of girlfriends lay dormant. I had my group and I was the queen bee.
Then marriage came, and I had questions and longings to be around other women. Women who could tell me I was normal for being emotional. For those who understood, and would nod, instead of needing me to spell out what I couldn’t put into words.
Slowly, one-by-one, they worked their way into my tough exterior, sticking like burs in my side. They are the ones I can turn to, the ones I can trust. Through their friendship and encouragement I learned to trust and to lean in.
They’re the women.
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Yes! I feel this way too! thanks for sharing! I think this is still vulnerable, but lovely and true and not so scary to share!
Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone in this, Beth. I appreciate your comment. And I really enjoyed your post. It’s so true how we women have other intentions but it always comes back to telling each other our stories. “Like women do.”
So I became one of those girls who was friends with the guys. – so familiar… i was reading your blog and thinking “wow… how did you know?”
thanks for sharing, Melissa.
I find this to be true with so many women. It hurts me to see how the enemy has attacked our relationships as women. Can you imagine what a force we’d all be if there was no backstabbing, tearing down, competing or envy? I think that’s something we women need to step up our prayers about! 🙂 Thanks for commenting, Zee!
Thanks for sharing! As someone who lives with 3 ladies I appreciate what you’ve shared.
Weekend plans: visiting the in-laws at their new home (recently retired a couple hours away). Should be fun!
Wow, you’re outnumbered! 🙂 Have a great time with the in-laws. It’s nice to hear someone say that visiting with them is fun. That’s the way it should be. 🙂
Melissa, thanks for being transparent, even though you felt that you were holding back…I could see your heart, your struggle. What I love about your journey is that you are letting down your guard and that you have found women who have held your heart securely and with extreme care. The Enemy wants to put division between us, especially as women, because we need each other so much. I am hugging your heart from afar and believing the this year will expand those relationships with other women even more!
Thank you Lindsey! I definitely feel that the Enemy is working to steal, kill and destroy relationships between women. It’s a battle we need to be more intentional about. 🙂 Looking forward to reading your 5-minute Friday post.
i long for those friend to lean in with. what a blessing.
Praying that those friendships reveal themselves in your life this year, Suzannah. 🙂
My wife is very similar. It’s a very interesting dynamic for sure. 🙂 She’s not afraid to be emotional with me, but she can be very reserved around other women. Anyway, God sees and God hears–always provides what we need. Thanks for being raw with us! Good stuff.
What’s interesting is how often people highlight the attack that the enemy is waging on marriage, but the attack is just as strong on woman- to-woman relationships. There is a spirit of distrust and jealousy that tends to pervade all we do, and I know I’m not the only one who wrestled with it.
I’d like to meet your wife, from her writings on your blog I think I’d like her. 🙂
Friendships with women….hmm, when I think about those friendships, I think of ways that I have been deeply hurt, but also deeply loved. When we got married, I told Mike that my loooooong phone calls with the bff were never going away. There are just some things a girl can never explain to her hubby, but her bff can understand in an instant. So grateful for the women in my life!
I am too! 🙂 And I’m glad I’ve met you…hopefully someday we can meet in person. Haha!
That is so me. I have always got along better with the guys. Still do. Not very easy to find good girl friends when you live in the middle of nowhere!
I love this! Tomboy here too. There was no competition amongst the guys. They accepted me as I was and became my protective brothers. Your ending is so awesome; how the “right” women made their way in. Wow! So blessed by this.
I wasn’t so much a tomboy, because I didn’t play sports, but I did enjoy the lack of competition. 🙂 Haha! I love it when people say they were blessed…it means I was hearing right. Have a great weekend, Jeri!
loved your post. i literally laughed out loud because on mine, i wrote almost the exact same thing about being freaked out and writing 2! i make friends very slowly, but i know that once the friendship is established, they are the ‘burrs’.