Five Minute Friday: Loss

Words have been hard to come by for me this week. As Josh and I prepared for our move, we talked about how differently we process change. He experiences the emotions prior to the change — the fear, grief, elation and anticipation — whereas I deal with it all once the change has occurred. These last couple of days have been difficult. For weeks I have been numb, going through the motions of saying goodbye and hello without any of the accompanying feelings. That is over, and I am currently slogging through it all…

…as you can see from my response to Lisa-Jo’s Five Minute Friday prompt: loss.

GO

Moving seems like dying to me. As I experience the loss of my grandma, I was amazed at how quickly life moved on without her. Yes, there was a mourning process, and I longed for her to come back. My kids still needed to be fed, though. Babies were born, people were married, groceries were bought; the mundane and the epic still occurred without her.

Life moves on in our old home without us. And for us, in this new place, we still need to do laundry and cook meals. It’s all just done in a new location.

Ezra won’t say goodnight to my mom. Each night we tell him to give her a kiss and say goodnight, and he says no. During the day he’s fine with her, it’s just that nighttime routine that he won’t budge on. He insists that this is not his house — and he’s right. This is not our home, it is my mom and step dad’s home which they have so graciously opened to us for our transitional period.

He feels a loss. What was normal is gone, and he’s set adrift in the unknown.

STOP

After a sporadic couple of weeks, I plan on returning to a more normal level of consistency around here next Monday. Have a great weekend!!

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31 thoughts on “Five Minute Friday: Loss

  1. I’m calling you tomorrow when I’m done working! I miss your face, and Josh’s, and Eli, Cora, Ezra, and Soggy head’s. I will refuse to wash the glass doors leading into the commons cause Ezra’s prints are all over them, but I try not to look at them cause it will just make me miss you more! :) But I’m not telling you this to make you sad. I’m telling you this so that you know how very much you all are loved. I’m excited for what life holds for you, and grateful that I GET to miss you!

    • I was just telling Josh last night that I need to reach out to you somehow. I miss you!!! :) I know how much I am loved by you…you showed it in so many ways to us while we were together.

    • What a sweet thought…I just had to add that when we moved away from our godkids, it took me months to clean their fingerprints off of my tv screen. I just loved “seeing” them there and it made me feel close to them.

    • Thanks Claire! We are slowly settling in here, and God has blessed us with fantastic family and friends who surround us. What advice would you offer (as someone who moved a lot as a child) for helping children to cope with it all?

      • I think the most important thing is to talk about it, to let the child make sense of the loss.

        My mum was always very good at ‘throwing us in at the deep end’ in new places too…joining clubs, finding the local pool, making connections, and that always eased the transition too. She also let us help make each new place feel like home (letting us choose a cushion, or where to place something, or whatever) so we felt a little invested in the new place.

        Praying for you all at this time.

        Cxx

  2. I’m so sorry. Moving can be an adventure—but even if it’s a happy move there is always that LOSS. Praying for a quick adjustment and new beginnings! :)

    a

  3. ooo what a good reminder to help kiddos deal with loss and understand some of the losses they go through. tough stuff.
    i’m with you…i don’t really process change until after it’s happened and even then it’s hard.
    praying for you all in this transition.

  4. I so understand this Melissa, moving forward means letting go and starting anew and from scratch!! … yet the possibilities are endless and limitless. Change means opening new doors, new opportunities and new possibilities. Embracing change is hard but when you know your future is attached to it, well … its full of promise. Happy transitioning. He has already been there and He has it all worked out. (All we have to do is trust and believe :)

  5. You’ve brought up a couple areas of loss that resonate with me. When we lose a loved one…life goes on. Like you said. Kids still need to be fed and bills still need be paid. And, also the loss of routine and “normal.” I think this is so hard to try to explain to little kids. Nice post

    • Can you tell I’m not getting much sleep right now?! Hence the scattered post. Haha! I think the loss and the move are combined in my mind because moving back reminds me that my grandma is not here to greet me. It’s like losing her all over again.

  6. Ahhh, the adventures in moving & transitioning. When our first home sold, we moved in with my sisters-in-law for a year, while we hunted & found a new home. Life still continues, no matter the address. I hope your Ezra starts to kiss Grandma goodnight very soon.

    Blessings :)
    Sabrina
    PS: I found your blog a few weeks ago, and am slowly working my way through the archives. God bless your family & your ministry.

    • “Life still continues, no matter the address.”

      So true! Thanks for sharing that, Sabrina. And…you hit a strange time at my blog, with the move and all, have fun searching around the archives, and hopefully next week is back to some balance. Haha!

  7. It’s a rough process. And, I’m more than happy and willing to support and encourage you in whatever way best helps during this time. I’ve so been exactly where you are (only I didn’t have as many kids at the time). Until we are able to meet in person, please accept my big cyberhug! I luv ya, girly. :)

  8. no advice, as i’ve not moved much in my life. . . . but praying for you and your family. what a difficult time. it’s amazing the depth of the loss, even at a young age, isn’t it? and yet, the resilience. . . . God bless you as you find your way through it all!

  9. Poor guy. :( Or kids had difficulty with the transition when we had to move twice in the past year also…it’s hard to watch them struggle with things that they don’t understand. :(

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