Thoughts from the Pot: Birthdays are Gross

Today is my husband’s birthday! Which, if nothing else, necessitates a “Thought from the Pot.”

“Thoughts from the Pot” are the random musings of a husband. The thoughts and opinions presented below are not necessarily those of the host of this blog. Thank you for your understanding.

There is a certain sensation in the air on a special day such as today. A sense of history and wonder, like lightning bugs on a summer evening. You know the gossamer touch of the breeze is a reminder of something that you may have forgotten, but that doesn’t matter now.

:: and know for something completely different ::

In my extensive research — which consisted of looking up “this day in history” on Google — I found that the brilliantly mustachioed General Custer listened to some foolish un-mustachioed people. He paid for that mistake with the top of his head.

“Cut your hair! That’s gross!”

Also the Korean War started today. Take that communism!

All kidding aside, that was a bad day for everybody and the veterans of Korea never seem to get any press, besides M*A*S*H.

“Klinger = Gross! Always wore the wrong color for his skin type.”

Thanks for everything, Veterans.

And then… there was the day… the music died. Which wasn’t on June 25th, it was February 3rd.  On this day, Michael Jackson died though; that was weird. I don’t even know how to proceed, he was just too weird. Like seriously a weird, weird guy.

This is a day to remember.

No. “A Day to Remember” is a band.

I mean that you should remember this day. This is an important day. This is the day of my birth. In some cultures they call it a “birthday,” but I find that too pedestrian and pedestrians are gross.

“Buy a car!”

So wish me a Happy Birthday and buy me something nice. I believe that it is the responsibility of friends and relations to redeem the weirdness that is June 25th The best way to do that… buy me things. It makes me happy.

11 thoughts on “Thoughts from the Pot: Birthdays are Gross

  1. Happy birthday, Josh. Great writing! I did buy you something. It was crackers with spinach and artichoke dip. You’re not up here in Washington, so I’m eating it for you. It’s delicious….just what you wanted. You may now be happy. :-)

    1. What a brilliant child you have! “I am at one with my weirdness.” I will strive and work unceasingly, or maybe I will just rub peanut butter all over myself and run through a squirrel farm, like I usually do.

  2. Happy Birthday, Josh. We’ll celebrate in style in a couple weeks. Until then, know that we are buying you lots of things we are enjoying. Like Theresa.

  3. Happy Birthday! Did you know that when you blow out candles on a birthday cake you spray your DNA all over the surface to share like presents with your friends and family? Just another gross thought.

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