Quiet Creativity

I say that I want to come to the page with gravity and respect, but then my words feel heavy and fall flat. There’s expectation {from myself} that whatever I say must be profound and inspiring. The weight of the pressure I’ve placed on myself stalls my fingers; I’ve placed a dam at my heart’s door and nothing is able to move pass the blockage.

So the creativity comes out in other ways.

Leprechaun traps for a kindergarten class

Baby Monkeys and Pink Elephants.

Practicing names with sidewalk chalk.

Books, with writing that makes me despair of ever writing again. The beauty of the words, the ease, the realization that my heart speaks poetry that always comes out prose.

Dream-filled dinners with a husband; a break from the kids and a chance to talk uninterrupted.

I want to write, to share, to unburden my heart. Yet even in my private spaces it is all too intertwined, and I cannot break up the ground to release the flow of words that will bring me relief.

God whispers to me that it is not a coincidence, my sense of pregnant waiting and loss of words. It is a mirror of where I was last year and the day that is quickly approaching. My spirit is grieving beyond my knowledge.

My brain feels foggy and lost. I sense Him in the background, working within. But for now I continue to wait on Him and His purposes.

I sit quiet, and find release in other ways.

What outlets do you have for your creativity?

How do you decompress and unwind?

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27 Comments

  1. katdish says:

    Living. When I stop searching for the words, they find their way to me.

    1. Melissa says:

      So true! I’m finding that as well. :)

  2. Haley says:

    I love to paint or scrap…now photography. :-)

    As much as I am challenged and inspired by the depth of the messages you post, I just as heavily crave the light anecdotes and pictures from your daily life. One brings me encouragement, the other, joy. I need both. Please don’t ever feel like what you have to offer isn’t _____ enough. It’s what makes you YOU and makes your blog real and worth reading…the compilation if all aspects of your life. Thanks for sharing! :-)

    1. Lynnette says:

      agreed

      1. Melissa says:

        Thank you!! :) I have so enjoyed getting reacquainted with you over the internets, and I’m amazed at how similar our lives can be. You are an encouragement to me, Lynette.

    2. Melissa says:

      Love. :) Thanks for always making my heart feel light, Haley.

  3. lauren says:

    sometimes my dear we must be quiet to be refilled. . .sometimes i just have to take a week off. . .process and then allow the words to take shape on the page. praying for your heart and the Lord to take the swimming chaos in your brain and make sense of it. love you and all your words dearly :)

    1. Melissa says:

      “We must be quiet to be refilled.”

      Yes, I am learning to shut my mouth and just listen. :) Thank you for your prayers & kind words, friend.

  4. i see quiet (or maybe not so quiet) in two very beautiful children with smiling eyes. Man Melissa, you are blessed!! Mine are 35 & 31 now and except for a 4 year old grandson and seeing kids at the church building, I miss seeing the innocence of a child’s face. I miss their giggles. Okay…’nuff of that. As for creativity: my mind seems to be always working. I do some while alone but I work best in a group where we are batting around ideas. I find my creativity renewed and rejuvenated when I ride my bicycle. After 20+ miles of mind clearing physical activity, my head is cleared as well. That is also my way of decompressing and unwinding.

    1. Melissa says:

      I am blessed! And thank you for reminding me of that, Bill! :) Working in a group can be such a kick in the rear when we’re feeling stalled. Although I’m not too into riding bikes right now (mine is in pieces in our garage) I enjoy this theme of getting out and doing life.

  5. jasonS says:

    Great post, Melissa. I love how you write and express your thoughts. It’s good to just be ‘you’. :)

    1. Melissa says:

      Thanks, Jason! What a great reminder that comparison can be a creativity killer. :)

  6. Moe says:

    Beautiful, creative use of words – almost poetic! Well done Melissa.

    I find creativity in my everyday commute to the office. So much goes on. It takes careful examination to find those nuggets of inspiration.

    1. Melissa says:

      Almost! ;) Haha!

      It does take careful examination, and discernment…because you can also get to the point where you feel like everything could be inspiring. Sometimes a flat tire is just a flat tire, not a symbol of your spiritual life. Haha!

  7. Jason says:

    It used to be writing. Now…I really don’t do anything to unwind. Too much on my mind right now. :) Great post and pics.

    1. Melissa says:

      Praying for you, Jason. :)

  8. Writing is still my creative outlet of choice. But reading is another. Especially good blog posts like this one. Thanks!

    1. Melissa says:

      Aww! Thanks, Lisa. :) You’re sweet. Reading is totally an outlet for me. I have been devouring books lately.

  9. Melissa says:

    “My brain feels foggy and lost. I sense Him in the background, working within. But for now I continue to wait on Him and His purposes.”

    I can totally relate to this. I’m sure there’s a reason that “Be still and know …” keeps turning up in my life, lately.

    1. Melissa says:

      Mine too! Those words have really been a mantra for me. :)

  10. Nathan says:

    I can so relate to this post. I envy people that can just sit down and church out post after post with beauty and ease. For me, it’s a difficult process and by the time I’m done, I have nothing left – the tank is empty. The last few weeks I’ve just taken an unplanned break – partially because of sickness and business, but it’s been good to not feel the pressure I often put on myself to write. For me, my most creative times come when God shows me something I’ve never seen before in His word and I start writing and He fills in all the blanks and gaps.

    I usually decompress and unwind by reading others blogs and by doing a little graphic/web design.

    1. Melissa says:

      I am able to sit down and churn out posts, it’s just that I am distracted from my children and home. God’s been showing me this year just how difficult a time I have saying no to myself. This goes along with it, because I have to use self-control to not stay online all day. Haha! You do graphic/web design?! That’s very cool. I’ve attempted a little myself…it does not unwind me. :)

  11. Dustin says:

    Sometimes taking a break. Getting away. Going for a walk to think out loud. Those help me at least. :)

    1. Melissa says:

      Definitely! I liked how Kat said living is how she decompresses. It’s so easy to get stuck in your own head. :) Thanks, Dustin.

  12. Sheryl says:

    So now I’ve read this post twice and the posts you link to once each . . . and I just want to give you a hug. Really. You have such a full life. Your words have gravity. I don’t come here all the time, but I definitely look for your bright smile in all the linked posts that I do. Your writing is consistent. Be encouraged! As for me? Scrapbooking—when I can face the extra mess it creates. Cooking—because being single, no one expects anything. I can have cereal 3x a day and if I find that groan-worthy, I can fix something else. Talking with a good friend. Enjoying a strong but creamy cup of coffee. Writing in my journal—just for me and God. Watching a movie.

    1. Melissa says:

      Your words made me teary eyed and caused me to smile. :) Thank you Sheryl! I am encouraged.

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