Our Story: Part 1 – Waiting

I’ll never forget the first time I saw him. It was Sunday night youth group, we were 15 and he was wearing a Marvin the Martian hat. I thought he was hilarious.

I talked about my lack of date for an upcoming school dance; secretly hoping he would offer himself as a solution to my problem. He didn’t. Instead, we talked about stupid, teenage things; all the while I grew aware of the impact he had on my heart rate.

Over the next six months I took every opportunity to learn more about this new boy with the startlingly blue eyes. New Year’s Eve found me sitting next to him in a dark theater, introducing ourselves to Buzz Lightyear and Sheriff Woody for the first time. All I could think about was how much I wanted him to hold my hand. It never happened.

Months went by and despite scattered rumors, the romance I dreamed of between us never blossomed. We became friends. I was the first in our group to drive, enabling me to make sure that Josh was always the first picked up and the last dropped off. I shoved down my feelings for him; resigned to take what I could get.

Two years later…

Another dance, another wish that he would go with me, and again it wasn’t to be. Enter one of my favorite pictures of us ever!

Although we did not go together, that night was one of the happiest of my life. That night I knew Josh liked me.

Over the next month our friend played go-between, since high school romances can never begin in a straight forward manner. Finally, our go-between arranged a date that was to end in an official relationship. Arriving at our friend’s house, Josh stopped me on the porch so we could talk for a minute. Although the November air was chill, I knew my hands were shaking from more than the temperature.

“Melissa, I like you.”

Fireworks began going off in my brain! The words I’d been waiting to hear for two years were finally spoken!

“I like you too, Josh.”

Slightly embarrassed at the bluntness of the statement, I couldn’t wait for him to ask me to be his girlfriend.

“I’ve never done it like this. Come on, let’s go inside.”

Um…that’s not what I expected to hear. What was he doing? Why didn’t he ask me out? So, he likes me, but not enough to be my boyfriend? I’m confused.

While I was out of the room, our friend asked Josh if he’d asked me out. Josh said yes.

When Josh left the room for a minute, our friend asked me the same question. I said no.

I learned later that Josh’s thought was that we were too old for the silliness of asking me to be his girlfriend, and for him to say he liked me was enough. Regardless, something needed to be said.

An hour later, at the local grocery store, my friends distracted me as Josh picked out a giant (I’m talking tree trunk stem) single rose. Sensing something crazy, I was a little apprehensive as I rounded the corner of the building and found him standing there with his mighty rose. He said, “I guess I was supposed to say, ‘Will you go out with me.'”

Never were more romantic words spoken.

This week Josh and I celebrate our 10 year anniversary. It’s made me slightly nostalgic. I appreciate you humoring me as I share stories from the past decade here over the next few days.

Josh & I now say that it was God’s hand that kept us from dating in those first few months we’d met. Apparently he did like me! We recognize that the time we spent waiting enabled us to build a solid foundation of friendship in our relationship, getting to know one another without the drama and temptation that comes along with teenage romances.

Is there something that you waited for in your life — something you didn’t understand why God was withholding — that now you see was really for the best? Or, are you currently in a period of waiting on God?

Advertisements

30 thoughts on “Our Story: Part 1 – Waiting

  1. i think God withheld the ability for me to quit my job and still have us able to live a comfortable life. We would not have been able to have me quit and still be able to live fairly easily. I would not appreciate this at all if I had not worked my butt off with three kids in tow for 5 years. I would not have seen just how blessed I am to be able to stay at home with the kids full time and I would not have appreciated the amount of time my husband puts in to make sure we live in a beautiful house on an acreage, have two cars, have all our needs met with a little extra for those frivolous wants. Its a blessing I make sure to thank God for and thank my husband for.

    • What a wonderful perspective, Lynnette! I admire how you are able to look at a circumstance that many would have grown frustrated with God about, and see the value that you gained by going through it. Thank you for sharing this!

  2. Yippee!!!!! I’m thrilled that you’re writing on this! It’s great to hear stories again and for you to have them written down like this. :-)

    HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

    We had to wait. However, we knew why it was important (I was 16 and Luke was 22 when Luke started waiting…cradle robber. I was 18 and Luke was 24 when I started waiting…Wisdom still.) The Lord saved us from ourselves by 1) telling us early, 2) making us wait, and 3) getting us married when he did.

    I waited for children. We knew the Lord was not releasing us to have kiddos, so we waited. 4 years of marriage passed before we started talking about “trying.” We had wanted to wait 5. It was SO hard for me. I was totally on board with waiting (100%-no-pressure-wanted-to-wait-myself-on-board), but I also knew that my purpose was to be a mother. I knew, deep in my heart, that is what I was supposed to do. In that respect, it was difficult (mostly frustrating) to spend years doing other things (like finishing my BA and then teaching for 2 years), but in the mean time, the Lord fulfilled other desires of my heart. If we had gotten pregnant right away, I would have never experienced getting to do musical theatre like I did, being involved in ministry with Young Marrieds and College Group, friendships I’ve been able to develop, etc. I still struggle with feeling years were “wasted” on school. I’m thankful to have my teaching degree. I love teaching. I love the experiences I had while teaching. I feel more prepared for the unexpected future because of my degree. Thank you for making me consider the positive things about my wait for children.

    • Cradle robber! I love it! :)

      You said you still struggle with feeling like those years were wasted…why do you think you feel that way? Do you think you’ll use your degree again in the future?

  3. This is such a great story. It’s always fun looking back at love stories.

    I always wanted to have a son. I waited a while and when we decided to have children, it was a girl. I was heartbroken. However, this little girl has turned out to be the apple of my eye. I love her so much. God still answered my prayer and gave me a son the second time around.

    God is so good.

  4. Haha, well apparently for some of us it isn’t just “high school romances (that) can never begin in a straight forward manner.” Christy and I needed a fair bit of juvenile go-betweens for our romance to get started [though, to our credit(?) we were still teenagers]. I’ll never forget that when I first arrived in my dorm, you were there just hanging out in Josh’s room – I was scandalized! Later I learned that this was totally OK during move-in, but at first I thought that Josh had smuggled in a woman into our sanctuary of manliness. Driving from Beaverton to San Dimas with Josh and Eric Fall of 2000, working with Josh that semester when all he wanted to do was be with you, and finally driving with Christy, Paul and Matt Knight up to your wedding – all are priceless memories for me. They are as much a part of my story with Christy as they are a part of my story with you guys. For whatever reason (perhaps because 9 months of engagement can feel like 2 years) I always forget that we got married the same year you guys did, I always think it was a year earlier.
    Thanks for sharing your stories!

    • You were in that same crazy environment that we were (oh wait, I talk about that tomorrow). :) You and Christy might not have played much of a role in our dating story, but I cannot think of our first few years of marriage without including you guys! I cannot thank God enough for bringing the two of you alongside of Josh and I during such an important time. It was so good for us to have another newlywed couple to walk through those years with, and it has intertwined the Martins in our marriage…can you believe it’s been ten years?! Doesn’t it just seem like yesterday? :) Glad to see we’re all still going strong in our commitments to each other and to God.

  5. as i am sitting in a season of waiting, this post just encouraged me so much this morning. i am not longer sure exactly what i am waiting for other than the Lord. i have absolutely no clue what He is doing or how He is doing it. . .all i know is that He knows. love you. . .

  6. It has been such a blessing watching your relationship from the beginning.
    “Mawage is what brings us together today”
    Big smiles and lots of laughter. Love you guys.

    • I was totally going to include that clip in one of the posts this week. I wasn’t sure about copyrights and stuff, though. :) It has been fun having you and Pat there from the beginning. We love you guys! :)

    • Are you talking about the guy standing next to me? Cause that’s actually Josh’s best friend, Logan. Haha! That’s why I love this picture so much. We went with different people and it always confuses everyone. Josh is the one on the lower right. :)

  7. God’s timing for things never ceases to amaze me! When Eric and I met at YWAM, he had been “putting it off” for quite some time while I cried the entire flight to London not wanting to go. He felt like he’d been disobedient in his timing and I felt like I’d been tripped and pushed! And all the while, God’s plan was for us to meet and getting married a few months later :)
    I love to hear about how God has brought couples together! To me, it’s like never ending proof of His hand in our lives (not to mention His perfect timing!).
    I’ve done my share of waiting in my life. Some things I can clearly look back at and understand why and others I may never know. Either way, I can always use a reminder that His timing really is better than ours. Thanks :) And Happy Anniversary!!!!!

    • I love your guys story! And I’m so happy that both of you ended up in England, because I really like you. :)

      That waiting without knowing why, that’s a tough one. I’m a huge “fair” person, and it seems so unfair that God doesn’t give me what I want or at least explain to me why I can’t have it. Haha! I’m still learning in this area.

  8. Mel B! you might be tempting me to write MY VERSION of how my husband and i fell madly in love…you know…because mine is the correct one, not his. Haha! waiting does not come easy for me and it’s not part of my nature – i’m a go-getter and like to initate things WAY before God ever even mentions anything! i’ve learned the hard way, but i praise God for his infinite amount of grace and mercy. i’m waiting more now…and there’s a freedom, peace and calm in that letting go…..

    i love your story and seeing God’s hand in it in retrospect. i think remembering these yesterdays helps strengthen our todays.

  9. Pingback: The Proposal | Melissa Brotherton

  10. Pingback: {vow} | Melissa Brotherton

  11. Pingback: Thoughts from the Pot: Death by Honeymoon | Melissa Brotherton

  12. All through college I had to keep waiting. It just seemed that I could never get a date or at the least one that would go beyond a first. I was so disouraged and wondering why when my associate pastor told me that God had been keeping me and had someone special in mind for me. I immediately thought, “Cool, OK I can deal a little longer with this. Haley , you talk about cradle robbers, I was definetely one. My wife and I first started dating when she was 19 and I was 29! We will be married 7 years this year and love to laugh about the funny facts like If I took her to my senior prom she would have been in 2nd grade. ;) I guess you could say I found out what I was waiting for.

Comments are closed.