1 AM

It’s officially Wednesday, but I haven’t yet finished my Tuesday.

Silas and I are up, sitting at the kitchen table, our faces reflecting the light of the computer screen…we’re like two little moons.


Despite the late hour, he’s so full of joy. It’s like he has no idea that it is scandalous that he should be awake at this time. All he knows is that mommy is here and she laughs when he smiles.

He blows raspberries, pats the table and tries to type along with me.

My contacts, after too many hours of wear, have suction-cupped themselves to my eyes. My whole body longs for sleep, for the comfort of my bed. In six short hours I have to get up to take Eli to school, and I know I’ll probably be awake with Silas once more before that.

I don’t say this to gain sympathy, or to puff myself up.

Rather, I say this because I am realizing how accustomed I’ve grown to this schedule; to this sacrifice.

And, I say this because I am truly amazed at how God is carrying me through right now, giving me strength for the moment, grace in all things and guidance.

::

I think he’s starting to doze off…Good night, all!

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17 thoughts on “1 AM

  1. And here I am complaining that my kids dont know how to sleep in on a snow day… I could have gone to bed at 10 instead of staying up til midnight!!

    • I know it won’t last forever…my oldest used to sleep with me every night when Josh worked graveyard, and now he rarely sleeps with me. To be honest, I kind of miss that cuddle time. So, I’m enjoying it while I can, knowing someday I’ll want one more middle of the night cuddle.

    • Only cliche because it’s true. I have yet to sleep. I definitely hit a wall a couple of hours ago and felt angry mommy growing inside of me. But, luckily the kids are all down for naps now and I’m having some much needed quiet time. :) Thanks, Jason!

  2. Melissa…I’m in the trenches with you on this one. With 3 little ones, someone is always sick, teething, or jus having a party in his crib at 2 am. :( But, recently, I’ve been getting this feeling that I should wake up early. I think it’s more than a feeling. I think it’s the Holy Spirit! A friend of mine said God had convicted him about getting up early to have a quiet time with God. He argued with God a little saying, “But, I need my sleep!” And God’s response: “Trust ME to give you the rest you need.” That really convicted me! I can see that if I were to wake up early, before the kids, my day would go so much smoother. And now that I’ve put it out in the blogosphere, I might actually have to do it. EEK!

    • Isn’t it funny how putting it in writing makes things feel more committed? When it’s just a vague sense in your mind, it’s easy to dismiss, but once you say it out loud or write it down, you can’t justify not doing it by saying you didn’t know. (Does that make sense?) That’s how I was with my iPhone. I have been having much the same thoughts, about getting up early. I notice that when the kids wake me I am grumpy because they’ve disturbed my rest. However, when I wake earlier than them, I may still be tired but I am not taking it out on them. Haha!

  3. Wow, I remember those days (distantly). The sacrifice is worth it though (but you already know that). :) Hope you got some good rest, Melissa.

    • I haven’t had good rest, but I’ve had LOTS of good coffee! {shake, shake} What do they say? “I’ll sleep when I die?” May be somewhat true for parents of young ones…

  4. there is a very good chance i am going to write this phrase on my mirror tonight. . .

    “And, I say this because I am truly amazed at how God is carrying me through right now, giving me strength for the moment, grace in all things and guidance.”

  5. I love this and I can so relate. Lots of late nights here lately with teething. “We’re like two little moons..” That sounds like the beginning of a picture book :)

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