You know the ones I’m talking about:
Today I’m planting my garden, making my own baby food, homeschooling my six children, baking cookies for my husband to take to work, running 5-miles, cleaning the bathroom, doing the laundry, knitting a baby blanket for a friend’s shower, planning a retreat for my church group and taking an elderly friend to the hospital…all before noon and after I’ve had my hour-long quiet time with God.
Of course, the reason I hate them is because they make me feel guilty.
I’m usually reading this list of accomplishments at noon in my pajamas, in my kitchen that is still dirty from the previous night’s dinner, while my children are watching TV in the living room waiting for their chicken nuggets to come out of the microwave, and hoping Josh will bring home food from work for dinner because I haven’t gone grocery shopping in two weeks.
You think I’m kidding…
Enter the Guilt.
Those status updates make me feel as though someone has backed up a 5-ton dump truck and emptied its load of fertilizer on top of me…I’m weighed down and stinky.
The funniest part is I already have twice that amount of guilt resting on my shoulders, without knowing the wonderful things others are doing as a wife and mother. I’m driven and have extremely high expectations for myself. I read somewhere that we’re all perfect parents, before we have kids.
That was me.
I thought I had it all figured out and I was going to excel as a wife and mother. I would stay home, have a spotless house, play with my children, cook nutritious and delicious meals (after all, cooking is one of my favorite things), and have a daily morning devotion time with my children (since I’m a bible college graduate).
This is exactly why my New Year’s Resolution was to cut myself some slack. NO ONE can maintain that at all times! It’s not possible! Please don’t tell me that you do, because that means you’re a figment of my imagination, sent to torment me, and I have officially lost it because my delusions are posting comments on my blog.
I will say this again:
does this consistently.
You get sick. Your kids get sick. You’re up all night with a teething toddler. A neighbor drops by with their kids. The dishwasher/dryer/toilet/oven breaks. You’re tired. You’re PMSing. You’re lonely/depressed/angry/discouraged. You’re stuck in traffic. You’re children decide that they’re no longer going to listen to you for the day.
Sometimes things don’t turn out like we plan. Life comes in and whirls us around like a spoon in the garbage disposal. We get a little beaten, bruised and chipped before things calm down again.
So, imagine my disdain when I go to read my Bible (on the rare day that I can sit down for a quiet time) and I’m bombarded by a busy status update.
I really hate that Proverbs 31 woman.
No, I don’t hate her. It’s just that…
She makes me feel guilty. Every. Time.
I heard a sermon on Proverbs 31 this last weekend. I sat there, holding a squirmy Silas in the back of the sanctuary, squirming myself under the bitter and guilty thoughts. I realized that I avoid this chapter of the Bible because I walk away feeling awful.
And this got me thinking…does God cause me to feel guilty, or do I do this to myself?
What was God’s purpose in putting passages like Proverbs 31 in the Bible? And there are others. For example, look at what 1 Timothy says about the life church leaders should lead. And you can’t even write that one off by saying it’s Old Testament living.
So, this whole little rant is just an introduction to a discussion I’d like to have this week on guilt. I’d love for you to join me tomorrow where I will look further into the subject and what God has to say about it.
Is there a passage of Scripture you avoid because it makes you feel guilty?
To make sure you don’t miss out on the discussion,