I’m lonely by choice.
Yup, for all my whining and complaining about feeling isolated, it’s
When invited to attend this new bible study or that event, my default response is, “No.” There’s always an excuse or reason to justify my exclusion, but the reality of the situation is that I’m not trying very hard. If I really wanted to, I’d be there.
And that’s not the extent of my crazy.
When I’m talking to someone, I watch them for signs that they’re tired of the conversation, and usually end up abruptly cutting it short. In my friendships, I assume that any reluctance to get together is actually evidence that they don’t like me anymore, so I cool off towards them. If people don’t read my blog posts or comment on what I’ve written, I want to shut the whole thing down because, obviously, I have no talent for it and no one cares.
I will reject you before you can reject me.
Past experiences with relationships have left me scarred and nervous. What’s worse than being betrayed is being surprised by the betrayal. I don’t want to be caught off guard again, I don’t like being tricked. So, I will now be on the lookout for your ultimate rejection of me.
Or, I will create unrealistic expectations for our relationship.
You should call me out-of-the-blue to see how I’m doing. Regardless of the fact that I haven’t called you in three months, I need you to check on me. You should always assume that any offense I give you is unintentional, and instead of getting upset, you should ask me how I’m doing. You should care for me unconditionally, and if you don’t it means we’re not as good of friends as I thought we were.
Past hurts. Unrealistic expectations. Insecurities in my own mind. These swirl together to form a vacuum where relationships go to die.
For eighteen years, she had been weighed down in spirit. The oppression of it doubled her over inside herself, the sickness keeping her from walking erect. Then she encountered Jesus.
A touch of His hand. A word from His mouth. A promise from heaven. And she was free.
Woman, you are freed from your sickness. Luke 13:12
Satan would choose for us to remain doubled over by our past hurts. He would keep us chained up by unrealistic expectations. Our spirits oppressed. Our minds sick with worry, fear, insecurity. For in this state, we are ineffective. Our ability to minister to others is thwarted by our focus on ourselves. The furthering of the kingdom is halted as we hide in our cave.
Jesus calls us to more. Jesus sets us free. Jesus heals our sickness of spirit and calls us forth into freedom.
What does this freedom look like? Check back tomorrow to see how our faith affects our relationship personality.