Just One of Those Days

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My vision blurs. At first I think it’s my contacts being funky, but then I recognize the tell-tale fuzz of an impending migraine.

Makes sense considering I only got 3 hours sleep the night before.

The bummer about my migraines is that they announce their arrival before the pain comes. So I just sit there, in anticipation of the throbbing ache that will soon fill my head.

The kids are supposed to be cleaning their rooms, but they’re not. Instead Eli’s bouncing a ball against the bedroom wall (once again I’m so thankful that there’s no one on the other side) and Cora’s tap dancing on the trunk in her room. Both activities not enjoyable during a migraine, but I don’t have the energy to do anything about it.

Silas has had a cold for over a week now and I’m trying not to “new-mommy freak out.” I’m not a new mommy, this is old hat by now. But I still hate it when they get sick when they’re so little. His little cry sounds so pitiful and he has such a hard time eating. He’s been crying for two days straight, and the pitifulness is wearing off. My head seems to throb along to the intensity of his cry, like those dancing flowers that used to gyrate to the music.

The blinds are closed tight against the bright Southern California sun. The light hurts my brain and so it’s dark as night in our home. I sit in my oversized recliner, cuddling a sleeping baby who will only allow his body to relax if he’s being held.

Dishes with crumbs from last night’s dinner and this morning’s cereal sit waiting for me at the sink. I can look down the hall from my chair and see Mt. Laundry threatening to erupt out of my room. They will both have to wait.

I’m cutting myself some slack. There’s only so much I can do. Today is just one of those days when I’m only a mom. Not a housekeeper. Not a personal chef. Not an event coordinator.

I’m the only one that can provide the comfort he needs. My body only has energy to rock him gently if he whimpers. Everything else gets pushed aside.

And that’s just how it has to be sometimes…

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8 thoughts on “Just One of Those Days

  1. Ahh, sorry for the migraine. I don’t know if some of the horrible headaches I’ve had classify as migraines, but they sure cause me to have to lie down at times. Sometimes we just have to cut ourselves some slack. There’s always so much to do. I have plenty of days where I just feel like I’m just so tired and I just sit holding the baby and just put everything else off for a while because I need a break too and we can’t do it all, all the time! It’s a 24/7 job, especially when a baby’s involved LOL.

    • The thing I’ve started to realize about myself is that the day goes a lot smoother if I don’t have any expectations. Instead of a To Do list it becomes a Wish List. If I have time, these are the things I would like to have done today. Some days the entire thing gets checked off, other days more gets added to the list and nothing gets done. If I feel pressured to cross everything off I miss out on the fact that I’m blessed to be working outside the home, that I have the option to just sit and hold my baby all day. And now, with my oldest beginning Kindergarten next week, I’m realizing even more how precious these days are and how quickly they get way too big to swaddle.

  2. my migranes show me beautiful geometric patterns in all sorts of colors before the pain explodes. So I try and enjoy the show knowing soon, within 5 min, I will be sick to my stomach and in pain.
    So sorry about the baby. Jon just got a cold today since the other three have been sick for a day now.

    • Yeah, I get little twinkly lights. The first few times I had no idea what was going on. I thought I was going blind. I like your perspective though, to enjoy the first part. Haha! Praying for health in your house!

  3. I am SO sorry you are dealing with this. If I lived there, I’d come pick up your kids for a day out…Or stay there with them to rock Silas so you could get out…Or buy you a huge house, turn 1 wing into a spa, send you there, then hold Silas while the kids play outside in the water park with the nanny (as long as we’re pretending). Wish I could lighten your load.

    • I like your dream, Haley! :) Let’s make that happen. Haha! You’re gonna have your hands full even more soon enough though. Can’t wait to see you with your two!

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