Where is the wise man? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? 1 Corinthians 1:20
I feel like I’m full up on anecdotes, advice and self-help.
This year I challenged myself to read 35 books I’d never read before. So far I’ve read some pretty good ones. Plus, I have a number of books on my list of “Coming Attractions.” The problem is, people keep saying how life changing these books are for them. They’re being “wrecked” by these authors and the things that they’re learning.
For me…nothing’s soaking in. I feel like I’m on information overload; a spiritual dunce. It’s all foolishness to me because I’m not pairing it with the workings of the Spirit in my life. I have blogs I follow, sermons I listen to, magazines I subscribe to, and these books I’m reading. But nothing’s getting below the surface.
Is it because I have no outlet for what I’m ingesting? Have I become a glutton for advice on Christian living and ministry leadership? I feel swollen with facts and knowledge.
Even the things I write here, the insights I receive about my life. Have they just become things I share without actually allowing them to impact my life?
Lately I’ve been having a strong urge to sell everything we own, pack up our necessities and move to South Africa. I want my children (and myself) to be more grateful for the things we have. I feel incumbered by the trappings of the OC lifestyle. I want to purge, simplify and think about others before myself.
But even this longing isn’t pure. I don’t feel like the main reason behind it is to help others, but to help myself and my family. South Africa is the destination because I’ve been reading a lot about it lately…not because I’ve felt a particular calling from God to go there.
Does anyone else feel this way? This discontent, this overload of information? I want to get my hands dirty. I want to know I’m useful to God.
Maybe my nesting is taking form in wanting to clean up my life, instead of just my kitchen…
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