She Healed Me…

The other day Lisa-Jo (aka, The Gypsy Mama) wrote a post about her fear of having a daughter. Somehow my comment to her ended up a little longer than I expected…

She suggested I write about it here…but I kinda liked what I’d already written. So, here’s what I had to say about having a daughter (slightly edited to make it a little more coherent):

My firstborn was a boy and when I found out I was pregnant again everyone said, “It’ll be a girl.” I just laughed it off and said that I wanted all boys.

It was a girl.

Once I found out I was having a daughter, I bought everything in lavender. I’m not big on pink.

Despite this, today I have a pink-loving, princess-obsessed, skirt-twirling, uber-girly 4-year-old daughter.

On her 3rd birthday as "Shake-A-Booty"

I’m pregnant with baby #4 now and it’s our 3rd boy. In the midst of this sea of testosterone it’s me and Cora against them.

Can I just say that when I found out she was a girl I was TERRIFIED! I’ve never done well with girls. I always felt like I wasn’t enough: not pretty enough, not affectionate enough, not girly enough. I KNEW I would ruin her if I had a daughter. I’d scar her, wound her and pass down my dysfunctions.

All I could do was ask, “God, why are you giving ME a daughter?”

The answer: she healed something in me.

She, in her sweet, loving, tender way has opened something inside of me that was tightly shut off.

I feel like an oyster: no matter how hard you pull, they’re difficult to open, but just add a little steam and they’ll open on their own. My daughter is the steam needed to allow me to be the girly princess I never was growing up.

Don’t be scared of it…know that God can teach us so much through our children and pray He allows you to experience that with your own daughter.


I don’t know what I’d do without my Cora. She is a blessing to me and I can’t imagine my life without the joy that is my daughter.

**Today I’m unwrapping the unexpected gift that was my daughter. Find out what others are discovering in the everyday over at Tuesdays Unwrapped with Emily of Chatting at the Sky!

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32 thoughts on “She Healed Me…

  1. beautifully said, and so true. my little girl has done the exact same in me…well, i should say the Lord through her! blessings!

  2. I so glad Lisa-Jo encouraged you to write this out in your own space here. I think a lot of women feel this way about having girls. I’ve heard them say things like “I would be a horrible girl mom” I wonder how much of what you say here would resonate with some of them.

    1. I agree! I used to think I was in the minority regarding my “issues” with other women, but I’ve come to realize that most women feel isolated and insecure about it…which translates to raising a daughter. I frequently pray that my daughter is raised with a healthy view of other women and the knowledge that those relationships are vital for us. Thanks for the comment, Emily, and for hosting each week. :)

  3. I always tell everybody that God knew what he was doing when he gave me boys! I’m DEFINITELY a boy’s mom!

  4. This is beautiful. Fear grips us at times over things we have no control over. Then God in His mercy shows us what a gift that fearful thing was. Your girl is adorable. Thank you for sharing this.

    1. I’ve found God to work that way in so many areas of my life. I’m finally beginning to trust that He really does know best. :)

  5. What a sweet post! Having kids at all scared me, but in many ways they’ve “healed” me too. I’m excited about my first girl too. I’m not at all a girly girl so I wonder if that means my little girl is going to love pink and sparkles like yours?? :)

    1. I’m very excited for you Danielle! I loved your post about the blanket Ashleigh made you. The anticipation of what they’ll look like, what they’re personalities are, and how they’ll interact with the other kids is so fun for me. Praying for you as you prepare for your baby girl!

  6. Oh, wow…she is so beautiful, and what a poignant reflection on how God gives us what we need, not what we *think* we need.

    1. Thank you! I’m biased, but I think she’s lovely. :) I’m definitely glad in this instance that God forced me into something I didn’t think I wanted.

  7. Melissa –
    I am so so glad that you wrote this out as a post. It’s beautiful all over again reading it here with your photos and your gorgeous girl. I am just as moved as the first time when I read about how she healed and opened a part of you. Thank you for this encouragement, my friend. It has stuck with me!


    1. Thanks for inspiring me to look into it. I’ve felt this, but never really articulated it before. :) Your post was beautiful and made me realize the power of my words (both negative & positive) on her. So, when can we expect your girl. :)

  8. She got to be Sleeping Beauty for her birthday? How sweet! It was May 2nd, right? (I know, I’m a bad auntie.) Isn’t it funny how each child manages to turn your expectations around? I was excited when I found out I was having Jorja. I wanted a little girl, with the fluffy dresses and baby dolls and stuff. She is turning out to be so nongirly, I fear the day when she won’t let me dress her like a little princess anymore. But I couldn’t imagine her any different. She is who she is, and all I can do is love her for it.

    Wait, May 1st? Tell you what, I am going to mail you a stack of birthday cards with $5 in them, and you pass them out on the right days, ok?

    1. Haha! June 1st. That was from last year. :) Jorja seemed to like her Easter dress…we just need to live closer together so they can influence each other. :)

  9. What a great thing God has done! God helped me realize before that the things I have been most scared to do in regard to life have been some of the most fulfilling things to me (because I was made to do them). I love this post- thanks for the reminder.

  10. I read this as the comment on Lisa-Jo’s post. I loved it then, and I love it now. I’m a mom of all boys, and I wouldn’t have it any other way! I guess it’s because I’m not a girly-girl and I relate to my boys so well.

    The thing is, I have a feeling that somewhere down the line, a little girl will come into my life and turn my perspective upside down. I don’t know how or when, but I just know that sometime, it will happen.

    1. I love my boys…and I’m definitely glad that I only have one daughter. The thing is eventually we’ll have to deal with daughter-in-laws…which will be a whole ‘nother learning curve. Haha!

  11. I’m petrified of girls.
    But…lately I’ve been wishing for someone around here, ANYONE to let me paint their nails? Maybe do some hair?
    You know, primp?
    I think I’m more afraid of girls than spiders though.

    1. Haha! That’s great. I don’t like spiders, but I’m petrified of mice. What’s funny about the nails is that the last time I painted Cora’s, Ezra (our 19-month-old) wanted me to paint his too. :) He doesn’t quite get it yet.

  12. She’s all grown up now, but some of my greatest lessons were taught to me by my little daughter.

    Your Cora is adorable.

  13. “She healed something in me…”

    I feel as though I am in the middle of that healing myself – I can’t see what the result will be, but sometimes during the day, mine comes running into the room with her spontaneous “I love you so much, Mama,” and something in me remembers something I didn’t know I’d forgotten.

    This is beautiful.

    Happy Tuesday. :-)

  14. This is so beautiful!! I have two boys and I am so thankful that I didn’t have to face all the girly issues, but now I see that boys and girls stretch us “steam us” out of our oyster shells!! If I have a third, and if it is a girl, this has helped me to not fear it. I will remember this and trust God’s hand is in it for good, to prosper me and to heal me. :) Thank you!

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