Can I have a do-over?

One of my favorite things is a blank piece of college-ruled paper. I love the possibilities that it holds. I envision the sentences I could write, the lists I could create and the crispness of the dark ink on the bright paper. Then I start to write…and it doesn’t look quite the way I imagined. So, I crumple up the paper and start over fresh.

Today is a day I wish I could crumple up and start over fresh.

I yelled too loud…said things I shouldn’t…and took out my personal frustrations on the kids. Every parent has those days, I know, but that doesn’t make me feel any better.

I left the kids in their room because I knew I was about to lose it and didn’t want them to see me crying. After a couple minutes of sobbing (mine, not theirs) I called them out. I knew I needed to apologize for the way I acted.

Instantly Elijah climbed into my lap and gave me a hug, saying, “Mommy, we super-super forgive you.” Then he wiped a tear from under my eye…which just made me cry all over again.

In the spirit of my New Year’s Resolution I’m not going to beat myself up about this. But, I do know that I wasn’t doing my best right then and I could have handled it different. So…

Thank you God for my children and the blessing that they are to me. Please help me to be a more patient, selfless mommy to them and to remember to always apologize when I make a mistake. Remind me of how lucky I am to have them and to be able to stay home with them. In Jesus name, Amen.

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