Five Minute Friday: Disappointment

Disappointment was what I felt when I checked Lisa-Jo’s site for this week’s Five Minute Friday prompt. I didn’t join up last week, and was looking forward to the community and inspiration. Here’s my attempt to participate, despite my lack of prompt. I still followed the rules: write for five minutes, and don’t go back and edit.

GO

I hesitate to call them disappointments.

However, I am left without an appropriate word for the situations we have continually found ourselves up against since our move.

A string of disappointments.

Followed by glimpses of hope…that God cares, that He knows, that He’s working.

I loved the light today. Another one of those familiar things that I had allowed time and distance to erase from my memory. Overcast skies, like a blanket of steely gray cotton rolled out over the Puget Sound. Shots of sunlight, bursting through small tears in the cloud layer. The contrast of gloom and brilliancy tricks the eyes into tinting the landscape. Like in those movies where they shoot through filters.

Today was filtered in blue. Not a primary blue that is fit only for kid’s rooms, but a cadet blue. It seemed to be more a reflection in a sheet of stainless steel than real life.

Is that what is meant by silver lining?

Every disappointment is actually a redirection. I can’t call them disappointments because God has always come through with something better. There is confusion and grieving over what we thought would be — it would feel false if there wasn’t — yet we press on forward in confidence that God’s plan is greater.

The be still and know, the lean not on your own, the hear and obey.

Allowing God’s brilliancy to pierce the fog of our understanding, and tint the whole world with Him.

STOP

* GET MY POSTS BY EMAIL

* SUBSCRIBE IN A READER

* FOLLOW ME ON FACEBOOK OR TWITTER

{photo source}

Five Minute Friday: Joy

What a week! Life is moving so fast for us right now, and I know I’ve promised an update…

Like the proverbial dieter, I will make this promise: Monday.

Today, I’m taking five minutes to join up with others in Lisa-Jo’s community to write about joy. This week’s prompt is a tribute to Sara, and her commitment to choose joy whatever the circumstances.

Ready, set…

GO

A few years ago I started running. It was part of this boot camp thing I was doing. Before the sun peeped through the smog, a bunch of Orange County housewives would meet at a local elementary school to be beaten into swimsuit readiness. It was grueling.

Part of the routine was our weekly run. Each Wednesday we would head to a park, instead of the school. and there we would have five miles ahead of us. Some, who had been doing the boot camp for much longer than me, ran the entire way. I was lucky if I could jog for more than a minute or two.

Then somewhere around week three, I noticed a change. I was enjoying it, this running thing (or what I called running).

Much of my morning exercise was spent on my own. With earbuds plugged in, Queen serenading me with rock ballads, and a steady rhythm under my feet…I found joy.

Months earlier, if someone had told me that I could have found pleasure in running through a park at 5:30 AM, I would have laughed at them. Even today, I laugh at the idea. It seems ludicrous

Which is exactly how I feel when James tells me to consider it a bonus when I encounter trials. Joy…in trial?! Someone drank a little too much of the kool-aid.

I don’t think it’s the trial that we’re supposed to find joy in. Rather, I think it’s the endurance we build up, the strength we didn’t know we had, the toning of our spiritual muscles.

It’s been awhile since I ran regularly. My muscles have returned to their non-toned status and once again the idea of running for fun seems absurd. Maybe it’s time for me to push myself again, to find joy in the trial.

STOP

* GET MY POSTS BY EMAIL

* SUBSCRIBE IN A READER

* FOLLOW ME ON FACEBOOK OR TWITTER

Five Minute Friday: in real life

Sometimes weeks, all I’m able to grab are these Five Minutes on Friday to link up with the community at Lisa-Jo’s place.

This has been one of those weeks.

Yesterday, my Baby Squishy Face turned three-years-old! We celebrated with chicken nugs, ziplines at the park, and ice cream! I’m so glad God gave me an Ezra!

Ezra - 1 day old

GO

Love stories end with a first kiss, proposal or wedding.

Babies are born in 30 minutes, and the new mom always look serene and beautiful.

Drama creates intimacy and builds passion in a relationship.

The tide always turns, the underdog always wins, the check always arrives on time.

This is not real life.

Real life is what happens beyond the first kiss, the ring slipped on a finger or the toss of a bouquet. When the shine comes off, the breath stinks, the legs go unshaved, the underwear is left on the floor and cupboard doors remain open. Pet peeves and personal quirks sting like mosquitos. At first you try to bat them away, but once you’ve been bitten you can’t help but scratch. Red bumps turn into open wounds and you have to learn to keep your hands off so that things can heal once again.

Babies grow and develop for months inside. They come on their own timing and never as quickly as you want. It’s painful, raw, gut-wrenching reality. There is beauty; there is calm and joy and love. There is also blood, sweat, tears and a really worn out lady. 

Drama, left unchecked, will not result in intimacy, but rather  in division and withdrawal. Life is about learning to be content in the calm, and discovering that adrenaline is fun, but will kill you if you maintain it at all times.

Real life is learning that TV and the movies have it all wrong. We have it much better.

STOP

* GET MY POSTS BY EMAIL

* SUBSCRIBE IN A READER

* FOLLOW ME ON FACEBOOK OR TWITTER

Five Minute Friday: Older

Regardless of how crazy the rest of the week is, these five minutes on Friday have become something I really look forward to. Maybe it’s because lately when I sit down to post I am hyper-critical about what I have to say and the opinions I express. So, giving myself a time limit and the inability to go back and edit seems to take some pressure off.

Today my family are off to my grandpa’s property in eastern Washington to spend some time riding four-wheelers, eating chili and s’mores, and relaxing. I’m really looking forward to it, and secretly hoping to get a nap in at some point.

Nap time definitely is more appreciated as you get older…which ties in with Lisa-Jo’s prompt for this week’s post.

Also, just because I haven’t said it in a while, and I don’t think it can be said too often: Thank you for continuing to stop by here. These past few months have been very unsettling for me, and it’s become difficult {between living in someone else’s home and babying my dying computer} for me to post regularly.

I know I haven’t been responding to comments like I normally do, but I do read each one and I am so grateful for your prayers, encouragement and kind words.

Ok, enough mushy stuff…

GO

There are a lot of things in my life that I would like to do, but I feel like time and experience need to be gained before people won’t laugh at me when I clue them in…

Write.

Speak.

Teach.

Lead.

Cook.

Host.

Learn.

There’s something to be said for allowing maturity to happen before undertaking goals and plans. Counter to all the “go for it, seize the day” type of mantras that are thrown at us, isn’t it ok to say, “Not yet, patience.”

Why does my life need to be settled at 30? 40? 50?

My mom recently graduated from Bible college. She’s not 20 or 30 {and I won’t tell you how old she is, even though she’s young to have a daughter my age, because I live with her right now and I KNOW she’d kick me out}.

She was talking with me about how life doesn’t always have a linear path to it, there can be fits and starts and great leaps of faith. Where I am today may not determine where I am at 50, 60 or 70. It’s being in the present and experiencing all that God has for me.

What can I learn from the today that will be important when I’m older? There’s no way of pinpointing those lessons, but I’m trying to keep it all straight.

Of course, my brain is starting to go already, which may make it hard to remember. But, that also may be a blessing.

STOP

What does “older” mean to you?

* GET MY POSTS BY EMAIL

* SUBSCRIBE IN A READER

* FOLLOW ME ON FACEBOOK OR TWITTER